In my family, I am the youngest of three. If anyone reading this is the baby of the family, then you already know where I am about to go with the opening of this devotion. When I was asked to write a devotion about siblings for our family month book I immediately thought back to all the times when I was younger when I was bullied by my two older siblings. Now, sure, as I look back on those memories I probably remember them a bit more dramatic as most babies of the family do.

Today I have a great relationship with my two other siblings, but the hurt that comes within the sibling dynamics of a family is very real. Whether it is from teasing when we were younger, or a deeper hurt that our siblings can cause us, one of the most important things that siblings must learn is forgiveness. Anyone who has siblings, and especially those of us who have older siblings, probably were able to finish that last sentence before they finished reading it. Forgiveness of our siblings is something that is essential to keeping a healthy relationship with one another.

One of the best pictures in the Bible that displays the real, raw, struggles within siblings, and how forgiveness can mend those relationships comes in Genesis. What I love about this story is that it destroys the objection that some people have when they are told they need to forgive, “But you don’t know what they did to me.” Now, that is probably true. I probably do not know what some of the people reading this have experienced from their siblings, but Joseph did. 

In Genesis chapter 45, at the climax of the story of Joseph and his brothers, we see a beautiful picture of forgiveness and trust in God. Before this happened, Joseph’s brothers had done some of the cruelest things that siblings could do to one another. It first began with jealousy of Joseph, which then turned into them plotting to kill him. Instead of killing him, they decided to sell him into slavery and lie to his father that he had died. From there Joseph became a slave, went through imprisonment, was falsely accused of crimes, and experienced some of the worst things that can happen to a person. Now most of us when we read through those chapters of Genesis we think, “How could he forgive them? I know that I wouldn’t!” Even now your sibling might have done something to you that you are telling yourself that there is no way that you can forgive them. The response that Joseph gives his brothers when they first see him after all of those years is incredible. He says, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life” (Genesis 45:4-5).

The reasoning for Joseph’s forgiveness had nothing to do with himself or his brothers, but it had everything to do with God. He had realized that what happened to him was horrible, but that the God he trusted in was much bigger than his pain. He knew God had a much better plan than the plan of those who had plotted to destroy him. This response is coming from someone who had every right to hold a grudge against his siblings, yet he chose to forgive because he knew that God had a much greater purpose for the pain. That is how we ought to act towards our siblings. If we are going to believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, call ourselves Christians, and believe in Romans 8:28 (that “all” things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose), then forgiveness is not just a suggestion. It is essential.

Another important aspect to parenting, and to those who wish to follow Christ, is our worship. We must be careful that we are worshiping in truth and worshiping how God has called us to within Scripture. As parents, our children are oftentimes looking up to us and will try to copy and follow what we are doing. Something that my son picked up this past summer was spitting. I thought maybe he had learned to do it himself, but what I realized is that every time I would spit, he would spit on the ground, too. The way he learned to do this was by watching me. He wanted to be like his daddy and follow in what I was doing.

In the same way, we set the standard for how our children will worship God; for better or worse. An incredible role model within Scripture that teaches us how to worship and who sets the standard for generations to come is Abraham. Abraham as it is recorded all throughout the Bible is the father of Israel. He is the one that God chose to make His covenant with. God told him He would make him a great nation, that He would bless him and his offspring, and that through him all the nations of the world would be blessed. He set the standard for how the Israelites, and even us today, would believe and worship God with our lives.

Paul talks about this in Galatians chapter 3 where he writes, “Just as Abraham ‘believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness.’ Know then that it is those of faith who are sons of Abraham. And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying ‘In you shall all the nations be blessed.’ So then, those who are of faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith” (Galatians 3:6-9). Paul writes that all of those who share in the faith that Abraham had are blessed. He is showing us how Abraham was setting the standard for generations to come, that God was to be worshiped by faith, believed by faith, and followed by faith. 

In the same way that Abraham set the standard for generations to come, we need to raise our children up worshiping God properly. The way in which our lives display our love for God, oftentimes, will dictate how our children worship God. If we are sacrificing our lives to God as our spiritual worship as Romans 12:1 says, then there is a good chance that our children will want to follow in our footsteps. We need to make sure that we are raising our children up to not only understand how to worship God, but how to properly worship God. It starts in our own lives. We need to be the standard in our homes; being the example that our children need to see. They are going to be told by the world many lies about how to worship God. If we teach our children from a young age what the Bible says about worshiping God then we will help guard them from the deception of this world.

The role of parenthood has taught me many things since I became a father almost four and a half years ago. I have learned a deeper meaning of love, I have experienced the joy that I did not think was possible, and overall I have received one of the greatest blessings in my life with my son. I also have learned a new level of anger, confusion, and forgiveness that I would have never experienced without my son. Just the other day we were playing in the living room with some of his toys. It was very sweet, we were laughing and having a good time. About 20 minutes into playing, he came up to me and, very gently, gave me a hug. Just as I was about to say, “I love you, buddy,” he slapped me in the mouth just about as hard as a 4-year-old could. I was enraged, but I also knew that I am trying to teach my son about Jesus. First of all, the most important job I have as a father is to raise my son up to be a man that hears the Gospel, loves Jesus, and surrenders his life to Him as Lord and Savior. One way, if not the most important way, I can do that is to model forgiveness to him.

The story of the prodigal son is one that I often run back to when it comes to how I should teach my son forgiveness. In this parable, the son asks for his inheritance, or his share of property that would be coming to him when his dad died. In this story, he seeks the inheritance early so that he could leave his father and do what he wants. This alone would be enough to break my heart. The son is essentially saying to the father, you are as good as dead to me and I want nothing to do with you. He is basically saying, “I want the money that will come to me once you are dead.” Most of us would have a hard time forgiving our children if they were to do something of this caliber to us. However, as we read later on in the parable, it says, “For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to celebrate” (Luke 15:24).

What is amazing about what the father does here is that before the son could get the planned apology that he had for the father out, he was already embracing him and telling his servants to get a party ready because his son had returned. This shows that the father was not waiting for an apology and he was not waiting for his son to return the money. He had already forgiven his son in his heart and when he saw his son returning all he could do was rejoice.

My question is then, as parents, how can we forgive in this way and model this forgiveness for our children? We must always remember the cross and how God has forgiven us of everything. Romans 5:8 says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” While we had done nothing to receive forgiveness from God, Christ died for us so that forgiveness of all our sins may be possible. Remembering this is the way that we can forgive not only our children but also everyone in our lives.