Husband: a married man considered in relation to his spouse.
That is the dictionary definition of the word husband. It is not quite that simple. Like many areas of our lives, there are good and bad. I have seen more than a few bad husbands in my time here on Earth. I have also had the blessing to see exceptional men who are tremendous husbands. I am fortunate to have come into a relationship with Christ before Jamie and I were married. It was my growing spiritual maturity and the examples that I saw in my exposure to the church world that steered me in the direction to be the very best husband I could possibly be. Now, please understand that I am not saying I am a perfect husband. I am far from it. However, learning how this whole marriage thing works made me want to be more Christlike in the entirety of my life. This is a natural thing that will bleed into our marriage.
We see in Scripture multiple descriptions and directions for spousal relationships. In Ephesians, Paul pretty clearly tells us our responsibility to our spouses. We like to spout it out all the time. In chapter 5 verse 22, he says all we need, right? “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” We guys like that part. Our wives have to be subservient to their husbands. It is a gross twisting of context that is common throughout American Christianity. Read on and it says she is to submit as the church submits to Christ. This is a little different when you think of it that way. We could write chapters of books on this concept, which many people have.
Husbands, let us fast forward a couple of verses. Let us take a look and see the massive responsibility we have. It is a responsibility that sadly, we have missed the boat on in a massive way. Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Just to be clear, we all understand the love that Jesus has for us right? We have an idea of what Jesus did and endured for the church. Husband, you have a responsibility to your wife that is of the greatest measure.
We are not only to love, care for, and provide for our wives, but we are to put her ahead of all things. I love my children dearly, but not more than my bride. Are the needs of your wife more important than our own? Looking around our world and even our church, I will contend not in many cases. Do you support her, and do you support each other? I strive every day to be the picture that Paul lays out for our marriage. It is definitely a team effort.
Successful teams have a leader. Who is leading your family? If it is you husband, who are you allowing to lead you? If the answer to that question is not undeniably Jesus, you need to check yourself now.
Paul closes chapter 5 with a quick verse to clarify the whole thing if there was any confusion, “To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 CSB).