Relapse • Devotion #2: Doubt

When I was twenty-two years old, I caved the right side of my face while tubing behind a boat. What a way to start a devotion, huh? After the accident, I was taken to the ER only to discover that I had shattered the orbital around my right eye and right cheekbone. Also, I had fractures in my jaw and skull. It was not the kind of news you want to hear, but I decided to deal with it none the less. After all, it is my face. I had reconstructive facial surgery at what used to be Pontiac General Hospital a week later. When I woke up, after the anesthesia wore off, the doctor was standing over me. He tried telling me all of the details about the surgery, but the only thing I remember is him telling me that he pulled 56 splinters of bone out of my right sinus, putting them back in place.

After the surgery, an excruciating three-month physical recovery process took place. 

There were many things I wanted to do that I could not. I remember thinking to myself, “Are you kidding me, God?” I found myself wondering where He was. Have you experienced this? Maybe you are sitting at home wondering that right now. I would say things to myself like, “God, what in the world? You there? Asleep? What’s up?” It is like I sent Him a text just to check-in and see how things were going, I saw the read-receipt, and I even saw the ellipsis bubble pop up, but then nothing. Right? “Come on God, respond!” 

Sometimes, my relationship with Him feels very one-sided. Does it ever feel that way with you? I mean, you are reading the Bible, praying (occasionally), trying to follow all of these rules and commands, and you are doing your best. You try to be a good spouse, parent, or child. So, you are doing your part, but then, waiting on God.  

During seasons of waiting, I tend to doubt God. Do you? Abram doubted God. In Genesis 15:2 (NLT), it says, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son?” It is almost like he is saying, “Come on God, where are you? What in the world? Why are You not coming through for me? I am doing my part, now do Yours.” 

Most of us, in seasons of waiting, tend to believe our doubts and doubt our beliefs.  So why not catch yourself and flip that saying around. We forget that waiting is a normal part of following God. When things are not happening the way that we want them to happen, we wonder if God even has our best interest in mind. We fixate on the doubts that creep into our minds and hearts. We get caught up in what we are doing instead of who we are running to. In moments of doubt, hold fast to your beliefs in God, His promises, and the Bible. Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts. If you do, you give God the opportunity to say what He said about Abram, “And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith” (Genesis 15:6 NLT).

Be counted as righteous because of your faith today! Even when you have to wait, believe your beliefs, and doubt your doubts.

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