“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31 (NIV)
As a young husband, I thought I knew what it meant to be a husband, leader, and the “man in charge.” I quickly realized I did not have a clue! It took years until I learned that the only way I could lead was to be in line with what God had designed me to be, that is, to be a man of God.
John 13:14-15 says, “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”
My model is Jesus! Jesus came and served us while He was here on Earth. He laid down His life to provide us with the free gift of salvation. I serve Jesus with my wife and love, respect, honor, and protect her. In order to be the spiritual leader to my wife, God needs to be the center of my life and our relationship. Spiritual leadership is knowing where God wants me to be and living a lifestyle that honors God in all my ways.
Even though my wife loves the Lord with all her heart and is well versed in the Word, I need to be the spiritual leader of our family. This was not how I grew up. As a young Catholic, I thought the spiritual leader was the church, the priest, and the Pope. My father did not take the spiritual lead. The expectation was that I would learn everything I needed to know about God in the Catholic school that I attended. So this principle was not natural to me, not part of my upbringing. I have learned since I gave my life to Christ that I am to be the spiritual leader. I have worked on growing in my faith and in the Word.
Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV) adds, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” My responsibility as the spiritual leader will be to continue to stay in the Word, look to the Lord for guidance, and to continue to love, honor, and cherish my wife.