Dangers: Little Foxes • Devotion 5

Danger of Assuming
Pastor Ryan and Cathy Story

The whole book of Song of Solomon is so greatly expressive. Both the bride and the bridegroom, her beloved, go back and forth explicitly expressing their love and passion for one another. Their communication is clear to one another and nothing is left to assume. When we leave others to assume what we meant, or we assume that someone else understands, we leave a lot of room for error and confusion. Clear communication, saying what we are thinking and feeling, is so important to any relationships that we have.

Consider a few examples of how assuming can lead to problems. Maybe you had just finished cleaning, you turn around and a freshly dirtied cup is now left in the sink. You might assume that your spouse or child is being selfish, thinking only of themself, and not respecting that you just took the time to clean the kitchen! Your assumption now has you starting to feel upset with them. Think of another scenario, maybe you are at work and asked for someone to get back to you on something. After a day or two without hearing back from them, you might begin to assume that they have forgotten what you needed, or maybe you begin to assume that they are not trustworthy to follow through on what was needed of them. Now, imagine saying something unkind to someone you care about. In a moment of frustration, you said something that you know really was uncalled for. Instead of going back to apologize, you may start to assume that whoever you were speaking to knows you, so they clearly know you did not mean what you were saying. You will just move on from that situation assuming they will move on too and everything will be alright. Are you seeing the problem with making assumptions?

Proverbs 13:17 reminds us, “A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing.” Ask yourself if your communication with others is clear. Is what you say bringing healing, removing assumptions, and expressing yourself in a respectable way? If you compare yourself to the way the bride and bridegroom communicate throughout the Song of Solomon, would your communication be that clear? Do you make sure you say, especially to those you love and are close to, what should be said to help build them up and encourage them? As you think about your communication, do you find that you leave others to assume what you mean, or do you find yourself assuming the intent of others?

Try to find a few people you can express your thankfulness, love, and gratefulness to this week. Be clear with them about why you are thankful or why you love them. Take the chance to apologize, or make sure a loved one is not having to assume your intent or meaning behind what you have said. Use the Song of Solomon as a guide for clear talk without assumptions.
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