Dangers: Little Foxes • Devotion 1

Danger of the Grandiose
Pastor Ryan and Cathy Story

Romantic comedy movies have created an unrealistic expectation of the world. In most romantic comedies there is one sweeping grandiose gesture and everything is happily ever after. As I have watched most of these movies, I have laughed at the unrealistic expectation that is created for men. The “moral of the story” for most of these movies is that if you mess up enough, all that is needed to rectify the situation is to sing a song in front of crowds of people, run through an airport, stand outside a house with a boombox blaring a song of significance, or (my personal favorite) leaving an important business client to walk into a room saying the perfect words that rectify all the past pain that has happened. This unrealistic expectation has created in the minds of many that a healthy relationship is built on one moment, and that just is not true.

When the bride in Song of Solomon cries out, “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom” (Song of Solomon 2:15), the bride is crying out for the husband to catch the small little things that are destroying the vineyard’s fruitfulness. At this moment, the bride is not crying out “save the vineyard,” or “patch the hole in the fence that is allowing the foxes to get in.” The bride is calling to start with the small problems in order to solve the bigger problem. It was not one sweeping gesture that was going to solve the bride and her beloved’s problem; it was going to be solving multiple, small problems in order to bring a resolution to the main problem.

In marriage, too often we overlook the small. We fall for the romantic comedy trap and believe the lie that if we take the right vacation, plan the right date night, buy the correct gift, or do the correct amount of laundry all of our marital problems will be caught. The reality is marriage is built in the small everyday moments. Small moments of tenderness, small moments of encouragement, small moments of service, small moments of affection, and small moments of prayer make a huge impact. Big moments are great, but the sturdiest wall is built brick by brick. In the same way, what seem to be the biggest destroyers of marriages, intimacy, friendship, and joy inside a marriage? It is the small moments of tension, frustration, unforgiveness, bitterness, and harsh comments. In the same way that a strong marriage is not built by one grandiose action, more often than not, a marriage does not disintegrate with one action; it is several small actions that mount to destruction.

The bride’s call to “catch the small foxes” is an amazing truth for every husband and wife to cling to. One of the biggest dangers that exist inside a marriage is the overlooking of the small moments that are hurting our marriages. On the optimistic side of things, this is also a means to begin seeing health return to a relationship. Make the most of small moments. Instead of putting all your energy, and bank account, into an amazing vacation, put time into the small moments.
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