God’s Design in Marriage • Devotion 6

Just You and Me
Pastor Ryan and Cathy Story

Have you noticed that in Song of Solomon there are very few people involved in the book? We see the bride, the bridegroom, and the “others.” The focus of the book is on the bride and her beloved, which mirrors what should be important in a marriage.

One of the best pieces of marital advice, the advice I continue to share with others, was to not complain about my spouse to others. There are many times we will go and complain, but once a resolution has been made between one another, we do not always go back and tell the person we were complaining to how things improved. We move on, and while there is a resolution with my spouse, my friend would still maintain their negative viewpoint. This is not to say that we cannot seek godly wisdom or counsel, but if there is really an issue worth complaining or talking to someone about, it needs to be talked about with my spouse!

With God at the center, I can approach my spouse to have a conversation. That conversation needs to be just between the two of us. These conversations are meant to be constructive, helpful, beneficial, and honest. My spouse is someone I should and need to be able to clearly communicate with. Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” In those conversations between us, we both have to think about our words. These are not meant to be times to cut each other down or tear each other apart, but the goal should be to better our relationship.

In Song of Solomon, we see the “others,” their friends, bringing encouragement, but not weighing in their opinions. They are not questioning the bride about where her bridegroom is. They are not questioning the bridegroom why he would ever pick that woman. The friends are not used as emotional buffers until their loved ones return. The focus of the relationship is between the two involved in the relationship. Take some time today to think about your relationship. Are you running to others for problems or conversations that you should really be running to your spouse with? Are you being as open and bringing up topics, even the difficult ones, with your spouse? Remember to keep God at the center, and to let your words be seasoned with salt as you approach conversations you may have been avoiding.
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