Divorce • Devotion 4

Little Moments
Cathy Story

During this recent season, my husband and I have had the privilege of participating in a marriage Growth Community. We were grateful for the number of couples wanting and willing to set aside time in their weekly schedules to build, strengthen, and remold areas of their marriages. From couples preparing to enter into marriage, to couples with more than 30 years together, this group made a commitment not only to the group but to their spouse to make their marriage a priority. One of the most encouraging aspects of this Growth Community was seeing the desire couples had to focus on their marriages.

When looking at the topic of divorce, the dissolution of a marriage, sometimes people question, “How did it get to this point?” Others upon hearing the news of a divorce may ask, “What happened, they seemed so good together?” While still others will say, “Not a shock, we saw that coming.” Each of these responses is saddening to think about, but what can we do to at least try to prevent the topic from even coming up?

Matthew 5:31 gives a slight insight into the topic of divorce, saying, “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’”

These verses are interesting to look into because it would appear that, at this time in biblical history, people were taking this out of context and divorcing their spouses for any trivial reason. This does not sound too different from our society today! In our Growth Community we were using the book Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp. Tripp talked about a concept of “little moments,” or the fact that our marriages are often not made up of big moments, but rather the little ones. These little moments (our day-to-day or even moment-to-moment interactions) are more the fabric of our marriages than grandiose events. Tripp refers to how these moments, because they are little, are so often overlooked and undervalued in the context of marriage. We do not prioritize what we say, how we act, or how we treat our spouse. We let the little frustrations build up until they no longer are little. We allow the words “like” and “love” to interchange. Instead of looking at our spouse with, “I love my spouse, but may not always momentarily like them,” we switch to, “I like my spouse, but I just do not love them anymore.”

If your marriage has been in a rough spot, maybe you need to take some time to focus on your “little moments.” Look for ways to respond, talk to, act on, and think about your spouse in a positive way that may benefit you both. Talk with your spouse about the “little moments” in your marriage that might be causing tension or frustrations. Look for ways to add positive “little moments” into your days.

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