Lesson Six • Forgiveness
Devotion 4: Disingenuous Forgiveness
Pastor John Carter
If you are a parent, you can probably relate to this idea of false forgiveness. Previously, I used this illustration about how we have to sometimes instruct our children to seek forgiveness, most of the time from another sibling. Instinctively, we know when our children mean it versus when they are just saying it to please someone else. This aspect of forgiveness and repentance is compared to two different kinds of grief from Paul. He describes them in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10, “As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”
If you know the story of the church in Corinth, you understand a little of what Paul is walking the church through. To say the church was a mess is probably an understatement. They were struggling with division, sin, and the many influences of the world around them. The city of Corinth was a major trade route in the Roman Empire. It had a reputation of being a very carnal city and Paul is giving instructions to the church on how to seek after true repentance and forgiveness. Paul knew the issues of the carnal city and was well aware of the sins that permeated the surroundings of the believers in Corinth. I think we can clearly say that sin hurts. It causes pain and damage, whether you are the one committing the sin or the one to whom the sin is being done. It just flat-out hurts!
I love that Paul separates this aspect of grief into two distinct categories. He identifies that there is grief or repentance that is godly. In contrast to “godly grief,” he also identifies grief he calls “worldly.”
Have you ever considered there are different types of grief? Maybe if I say it like this it might resonate a little more. Have you ever recognized genuine and authentic apologies versus someone saying, “I am sorry” and they are apologetic simply because they got caught? This is what Paul is walking the church at Corinth through. It is what authentic and genuine repentance looks like. Paul continues to say this in 2 Corinthians 7:11-12“For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.”
This is such a profound passage to dwell on. Paul is writing to people in Corinth that have done wrong. He identifies something that is astounding. The purpose of his corrective letter was not specifically for those who did wrong nor was it for those who were wronged. It was intended to be for the people who genuinely desired to please God. In other words, he is saying to the one who wronged someone that their repentance should be earnest or genuine. Likewise, to the one who had wrong done to them, their forgiveness would produce earnest forgiveness or authentic forgiveness. This aspect of authentic forgiveness is not something we often identify with or easily relate to. It is easy to identify the child who is not really sorry about the wrong they did, but it is a little harder to identify the child who is not genuine in their forgiveness.
I have personally had to walk through this in my own life. Knowing that I had things that were done to me that were wrong, I assumed that I had the right to choose when and how I forgave. I could even pretend to forgive, only to use it as a weapon later against the person. One of the common signs you might see with someone who has not actually forgiven, is that they bring it up again when it is convenient for them. In other words, do we use their past wrongs to conveniently discredit them? Do we distance ourselves from the person who did wrong? This is necessary at times when dealing with domestic abuse, especially when the perpetrator has not sought repentance. For the most part, do we offer forgiveness and choose not to associate with someone that has wronged us? This could be a sign of unauthentic forgiveness. Do you feel continued bitterness or frustration regarding someone you have forgiven? Maybe you have a similar situation. The forgiveness you offer is only to your benefit. You choose to give it and take it at your own will. In Paul’s dealing with repentance in Corinth, I believe he also deals with forgiveness. If you will permit me to slightly paraphrase to illustrate the point: godly forgiveness leads to salvation without regret. Obviously, there is only One that can offer forgiveness that leads to salvation and that is God the Father through Jesus Christ. However, can you say that about the wrong done to you? Can you forgive without regret? The earnestness of the one who repents must also be matched by the earnestness of the one who forgives. This should reveal in us our desire to please God or mirror the forgiveness we received from the Father to others.
Let me close today with this passage in Psalms 103. If you have time I would encourage you to read the whole Psalm. It is amazing! I picked a small portion of this amazing passage to have you reflect on the amazing love and forgiveness the Almighty God offers us. He desires us to also offer it to others.
Psalm 103:9-12 says, “He will not always chide [shout], nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
God’s forgiveness is “as far as the east is from the west!” It is amazing to know that God has this amazing ability to forgive our sins against Him. As we examine this, listen to God. We need to pray that we live it out in our own lives.