Family Chemistry
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Lesson One: Bonded
Jayson Combs | Family Pastor

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3:8 

Bonded - The linkage or force holding two neighboring atoms of a molecule in place and resisting their separation, usually accomplished by the transfer or sharing of one or more electrons or pairs of electrons between the atoms (dictionary.com).

Do any of you 80’s kids remember the Crazy Glue commercial? It was the commercial where they would glue a man’s construction hat to a metal beam, and he would hang from it. They were trying to sell that their glue had the best bond. Every time I do premarital counseling I tell a story about two pieces of wood being bonded together. It was told to me as a young married man, and I have never forgotten it. Think about taking two pieces of wood and gluing them together with something like crazy glue. If you were to let the glue set and bond, what would happen if you would try to pull those pieces of wood apart? You would get a mess. Some parts would stick together while others would fracture and break into pieces. When we talk about bonding today, we are going to talk about those things in the family that God brings together. Taking those things apart will never be an even or clean break.

Have you ever had a glue mishap?

Here are a few verses where God talks about strong bonds.

 “And said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” Matthew 19:5

 “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’” 1 Corinthians 6:16

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

What does this say about the bonds of marriage? What do you think it means to become one?

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” John 10:27-30

What does this say about the bond in our relationship with Christ?

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call - one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:1-6 

Who do you think Paul is addressing here? What do you think it means to eagerly fight for unity and the bond of peace?

How do you think this applies to you in your family?

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14 

What does Colossians say binds things together? How would you define that word?

How can you work on your bonds in marriage? As a parent? As a son or daughter? 

What is making that difficult?

A few years ago a cartoon movie came out called “How to Train Your Dragon.” The movies set up where Vikings have lived their lives to fight off dragons.  If you are a Viking, you hate dragons and dragons hate you. One of the Vikings (Hiccup) finds a hurt dragon and begins to train it. He realizes that the relationship between the Vikings and dragons has been looked at the wrong way. Hiccup brings this up to his father, who is the king of the village. When Hiccup’s father realizes that Hiccup cares for the dragons he makes a crazy awful statement. He tells Hiccup, “You are no longer my son.” Wow.  To say something like that is to tear at a bond. For me, it reminds me of couples who allow the word divorce to be thrown around. It is an awful saying that wants to tear apart a bond that God has brought together. 

Why is being careful with our words so important when it comes to the bonds of family?

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3:8

What must we strive for in our family if our bonds of family are to be strengthened?

What do each of these things look like in your family setting?

            Unity of Mind (To work together even in the midst of diversity) Ephesians 4:3

            Sympathy (To love in both joys and trials) Romans 12:15
           
            Brotherly Love (To love like the bonds of a family) Romans 12:10

            Tender Heart (To show compassion) Ephesians 4:32

            Humble Mind (To put others first) Ephesians 4:2

What is your biggest struggle with these?

I hope you read this lesson and it urges you to fight for your family. I challenge you, “To eagerly fight for the unity of faith and the bonds of peace.”


 

Bonding Experiment

Name of Scientists:

Materials Needed
1/4 cup of warm water
1 cup of glue
A large bowl
A cup
An additional 1/2 cup of warm water
2 tsp borax
A spoon


STEP 1 • PURPOSE:
What are the goals of this experiment?

The goal of the project is to demonstrate the power of bonding and how these reactions relate to family.

STEP 2 • HYPOTHESIS (testable prediction):
If… then…  statement below.
If I mix water, borax, and glue together, then the mixture will…

STEP 3 • EXPERIMENT:
Do a test to confirm or disprove your hypothesis.

  • Pour the 1/2 cup of warm water into a cup and stir in 2 tsp of borax.
  • Pour 1/4 cup of warm water into a separate cup with the 1 cup of glue and stir.
  • After stirring for a minute start pouring in the borax and water solution while still stirring.
  • Continue stirring until the solution is solid.

STEP 4 • OBSERVATION:
Record what you see.
Before:
During:
After:

Our first experiment during the family month is going to help your family understand how we are going to bond through this experience.

Read I Peter 3:8 as a family, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”

Talk about these qualities that are listed.  

  • Unity of Mind - (To work together even in the midst of diversity) Ephesians 4:3
  • Sympathy - (To love in both joys and trials) Romans 12:15
  • Brotherly Love - (To love like the bonds of the family)  Romans 12:10
  • Tender Heart - (To show compassion) Ephesians 4:32
  • Humble Mind - (To put others first) Ephesians 4:2

 

            Now, take out the ingredients you need for your first family experiment.

The large bowl will once again represent your home. The spoon represents the Word of God. It is so important to center your family around God’s Word. It is the very thing in which God communicates to us. The ½ cup of water and borax represents mom and dad (have fun with who is the borax). The rest of the ingredients are the kids. Now, pour the 1/2 cup of warm water and the two tsp of borax into the cup and stir them together. Tell your kids this represents the union God has blessed you and mom. Take time to tell your children things that made mom and dad want to get married. Tell them how you met. Tell them what your first impression was of each other. Tell them how long have you been married.

Next, add the glue and 1/4 cup of water into the bowl and stir for a minute. You could continue to ask your kids what their favorite things about mom and dad are while you stir. Once it is stirred, pour the cup of water and borax into the bowl. Now all the ingredients are in the “home.” Explain to your children that this represents when everyone in your family comes together. It is like you are now and when you read God’s Word. It stirs your soul. It brings the family closer together and allows you to have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.  God's Word is the spoon. It bonds us together. Stop stirring and show them that all of the individual liquids have bonded together and became solid.

Read Ephesians 4:1-6 together, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,  eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

Say to your family, "If we want to have a solid family, we will walk in a manner worthy of our calling as a family. We must take on the character traits God lays before us in His Word. We must come together and read that Word. His Word is the only thing that makes us bond, become stronger, and become solid.”  Now pray with your family.



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